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Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

topic posted Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:07 AM by  Wolfie
Ok so... long story short:

I'm a leo with moon conjunct venus in cancer and mars in aries.

He's a taurus with moon conjunct pluto in scorpio and mars in gemini.

WHEW!

After reading that whole epic thread about Miki's problems with her scorpio moon, I decided to ask some questions of my own.

It's become very clear that I can't push a scorpio moon into anything and I can't be too clingy, (which is of course very hard for a cancer moon!). However, I'm also under the impression that you have to prove your loyalty and trustworthiness to a scorpio moon. I'm very careful about not rejecting him or doing anything that would count as betrayal in any way. By doing this, I feel like I've become too accessible to him and no longer aloof enough to keep his interest. Where is the perfect balance???? I truly feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him. If he asks me to do something and I don't immediately say "yes" he quickly changes his mind, assuming that I'm about to say "no". But, naturally, he has no qualms with being unresponsive towards me.

It's all very confusing! I feel like he always wants something intense from me, but when I try to go there, he closes himself off right away. I fear bringing up emotions with him because he's so distant and stand-offish. I have NO IDEA how he feels about me, and being the cancer moon that I am, it drives me insane.

A very bothersome thing -- when we first started hanging out (he initiated) things were intense for a good couple of weeks. He was always asking me to come over and responding when I contacted him. Then all of the sudden, a switch was flipped, and he fell out of communication for a good two weeks. Then gradually, over the span of a month or so, he's been letting me back in. But soooo slowly and with such a cold air about him, and things have definitely not returned to as they were before.

Right now I'm trying to decide what to do. Obviously this is not a comfortable situation for an insecure cancer moon like myself. I don't mind being patient and doing things his way if he needs to get a better feel for me or whatever before he decides to ease up some more, but I do not want to be expending all this emotional energy towards someone who really just isn't interested or is just using me in some way. But because it's so hard getting him to be straight-forward with his emotions without sending him running, I've got quite a tricky situation on my hands.

I would love to hear some insights into any of this! Merci en avance!
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Wolfie
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  • MIKI
    MIKI
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    Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

    Tue, May 13, 2008 - 5:40 AM
    Wolfie,

    I understand your situation with your scorpio moon guy. Although I am not doing very well myself because of my mood swings, I still try my best to contribute. lol
    When you read about my previous posts, didn't you feel, "wow, she is so weak!" or "wow, she is too clingy"? ha ha
    Scorpio mooners don't like needy people. Actually I think no body likes needy people. I would run away from needy people, too. To him, needing him = controling him. He doesn't want to be controled. If he shows you that he loves you, he would feel he loses the game. He would feel he is caught by you. I don't know......not all the scorpio mooners are the same, but this is how I feel about my friend.....

    You don't need to try very hard to prove your loyalty because this can't be rushed. You can't make someone trust you immediately. It really takes time to know how trustworthy a person is. Think about this, if someone tries very hard to convince you that he is very loyal and trustworthy, would you believe him in 2 weeks?

    You are like me, too careful. Being too careful = being too afraid of losing him = controling.
    (wow, just by writing about this, I can see my situation more clearly)

    "I feel like I've become too accessible to him and no longer aloof enough to keep his interest"
    You sound like me here. and we can't help it, right? The last part of this sentence, the last 4 words, would sound controling to him.

    The way you started out with him sounds very familiar. But my scorpio moon friend has some mental disorder issue. I hope your partner doesn't have that problem. I think it is better not to show him any emotion. I know it is hard. Once in a while my emotion bursts out on him and he would get angry, but at least I would feel better.

    What is his venus and rising? What is your venus and rising?
    I also have mars in gemini. Gemini mars are good in attacking indirectly.
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    • Wolfie
      Wolfie
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      Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Tue, May 13, 2008 - 12:59 PM
      Miki,

      Thanks for your reply! When I read your post, I felt like you were in a really difficult spot. It's really hard for an emotional person to deal with someone who is so reserved like a scorpio moon.

      I have my venus in cancer and his is in taurus. He is a capricorn rising and I'm a pisces rising.

      I understand the whole not wanting a needy, clingy person, so I think I've played it pretty cool so far. It's very very hard. In general, I'm very emotional and little things affect me a lot, but I'm not actually all that needy or clingy when I've established something with someone. It's when things are in limbo and not settled like this that I get a little nervous and moody. The source of it is my need to protect myself. I don't want to be giving him space and waiting around for him if one day I'm going to suddenly be dropped without a word of consideration. With time my emotions build and build and staying with him means greater attachment as time progresses. I'm emotional, but I'd also like to think that I'm reasonable and can see reality. I'd really like to know if this is a worthwhile investment or not. And bottom line, I really don't want to get hurt by him.

      Isn't there a way you can approach a scorpio moon that doesn't come across as needy or controlling, but rather more logical and reasonable? I'd like him to understand that I don't want to change him or keep him in the palm of my hand, but that a little clarity would really help me a lot. I've brought up "my feelings" on two separate occasions in the past. I wasn't emotional about it, but straight-forward and brief. He responded both times in a (moon in scorpio) positive way, though he was still distant and detached. After each of those times, my relationship with him has improved a little bit. It's a very slow process.

      I don't feel like it would be right to just run away from this situation, though it might be best for me. I'm very picky about guys and I rarely find one that I like so much. Even though he is this cold scorpio moon, he has always been an honest, kind person. I find those traits, especially honesty, very hard to come by with kids in my generation. So now I'm willing to put my fire/water energy in check, but I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time and energy. Will I ever know?

      Also, he has Pluto conjunct his Moon in Scorpio. When my mom saw that she said she always stayed clear of THOSE types. I'd like to know what that means, exactly. All she really said was, "CONTROL FREAK!" haha.
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  • Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

    Tue, May 13, 2008 - 1:49 PM
    Don't think it's just the Scorpio Moon involved here.

    Try Googleing "Leo Taurus love", and read a few, like this one: www.starlightastrology.com/leo-tau.htm

    The combination is not the best in the world, and throwing in two watery Moons doesn't help.
    But like all combinations, can be made to work if there is genuine sincerity and compromise on both sides.

    NOT, repeat, NOT directed toward you personally - at all:

    Seems like we are spending a lot of time explaining Scorpio Moons to others, giving counseling, advice, etc.
    Do we need a new Tribe - "People in relationships to Scorpio Moons" ? ? ?
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    • Wolfie
      Wolfie
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      Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Tue, May 13, 2008 - 3:19 PM
      Thanks for the tidbit about Leo/Taurus Love, but based on what I've read, I think my moon is mixing that one up. I'm very warm and nurturing because of my cancer moon and he is often the one to do the "cold shoulder". I am very demanding, but so far I've managed to keep that in check. It helps that I've grown up knowing a lot about my chart, since my mom is an astrologer.... I can kind of realize it when I'm getting a bit out of control, (and I'm understating it when I say "a bit".. ahaha!)

      Yeah, a tribe dedicated to people in relationships with scorpio moons would be most helpful. I hear a lot of people begging for info about that placement. Would everyone agree that moon in scorpio is one of the most difficult placements? I think they manage to leave everyone confused!
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  • Coors
    Coors
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    Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

    Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:26 PM
    Wolfie and Miki,

    Sometimes people are just jerks ...and it has nothing to do with their moon placement.

    With that being said....I have to say I have always done better with people who have earthy moons....they never take it personally...in fact one of the most infuriating and wonderful experiences I had with someone was when I lost my temper and was just yelling and he laughed, kissed me on the cheek and said he would be back when I was ready to talk about things.

    That is what a scorpio moon needs...someone who is strong enough to not be as sensitive as we are...I know people go on and on about the watery connection but I do much better with the earthy moon to counter my craziness...and if they have a water sun even better. And yes scop moons do not like weakness...we are always afraid that no one is as strong as us emotionally....we can be every person's ballast to cling to in the storm but who will be there when we have a breakdown...and not someone to say "oh honey whats wrong" but someone who will say "pull yourself together and get back out there". So don't take anymore scorpio moon shit!! ;-)
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    • Wolfie
      Wolfie
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      Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:43 PM
      Coors,

      Thanks for your straight-forward response! I'm a little confused about MYSELF now all of the sudden. What you were describing the moon in scorpio as - "do not like weakness...we are always afraid that no one is as strong as us emotionally....we can be every person's ballast to cling to in the storm but who will be there when we have a breakdown..."

      I see a lot of that in myself. I've always been the leader of the group, the strong one, very closed-off emotionally, and always there for others to cry to. I certainly feel the intensity of my moon in cancer, because INSIDE I'm an huge swirling MESS of emotions! But outwardly, I try to be very composed and even distant. Only recently have I been able to be more open with friends and more loving towards people outwardly.

      This is quite a tangent... but why do you think that is? Is it my mars in aries? My sun in leo?
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      • Coors
        Coors
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        Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

        Tue, May 13, 2008 - 6:35 PM
        For me personally I do believe that some cancer moons are very strong...one of my good GF has been through a divorce, and had pother life issues and was always able to keep all balls in the air much better then I ever could....however..I can still always sense her...NEED for safety and security...her WANT for it....from another person ....and that is what can drive me crazy. ...her quest for the perfect relationship....that man to take care of her. Everything must be ok...nothing ugly....nothing unhappy can be around. So maybe she is strong...but she does not appear that way to others. In fact guys have told her that she needs to get her own life because she gets too focues on him in the relationship.

        I learned a long time ago that someone else cannot file the holes in your life or soul...and much as people would like to believe someone else should not be saddled with bearing all of your expectations in life. Its not fair.


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  • LeeLee
    LeeLee
    online 14

    Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

    Tue, May 13, 2008 - 7:38 PM
    Edward,
    "Do we need a new Tribe - People in relationships to Scorpio Moons"

    Lmfao!!!

    Wolfie, you are so sweet! Cancer moons are so kind and understanding....Scorpio moons are so self protective and therefore guarded.


    Anyways, As a scorpio moon in a relationship with a taurus sun/scorpio moon - I feel I am in a position to give great advice about him....

    If he's not your boyfriend, you can not get him to do anything. Thats the first thing. Taurus/scorpios won't do anything they don't want to anyways. I mean that. lol

    I find that when my boyfriend "bucks" me - he's trying to extend his independance (its his own internal struggle that motivate this) He WANTS me to go after him...he's looking for (in my opinion) negative stimulation so therefore, I give him all the freedom and space he needs. I do not engage him. I find this works like a charm...never chase him...it will fuel his fire and he will target you. You will become the reason for his misery.
    You need to do what I do - I create my own world that he is not involved in (I will do beauty treatments on myself, talk to friends, watch movies, walk the dog...anything I like to) while he's being "an idiot". lol

    I DO NOT go out of my way for him at these times. If he is not going out of his way to be in touch with you, back off.

    Also, never sweat it - outwardly and more important - inwardly - I never take it to heart. If he takes it too far, I plan what my life would be like without him. lol And I know (just like you should know) that I will survive without this person....

    He will come back so let him go.... NEVER chase a taurus/scoprio moon especially.
    They are not going to do one thing you want them to do, if they don't want to do it. Period. Ifd he's walking away, let him. If he's not calling, let him. BE BUSY! Make a happy life for yourself that he is not in.

    The WORST thing you can do is be too accessable!! Scorpio moons (and prob everybody) reads that as desperate and pathetic (unless they are deeply attatched to you and/or highly evolved)

    And don't make excuses for bad behavior. If someone is being disrespectful toward you - you take care of YOU and YOU alone. Let them deal with their own shit. lol


    Thats if you are not in a commited relationship..

    If this came off harsh, Im sorry!!! its because I am in a rush so I cut right to the chase. I do want to help you.
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    • Wolfie
      Wolfie
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      Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Tue, May 13, 2008 - 9:10 PM
      LeeLee,

      Your advice is so spot on! Thank you so much!

      Some things:

      You mentioned that being accessible is the worst thing I can do. He so rarely initiates things that when he does, I ALWAYS make myself available to him. I find that when I say I'm busy or whatnot, he often has a volatile reaction and distances himself from me a bit more, (as if he feels rejected). And it will be even LONGER until the next time he asks. So... I guess what I want to know is if you suggest I tell him I can't do anything even when I'm not busy. Usually we do things at night when he KNOWS I'm free... so being "busy" might seem a bit far-fetched to him. I dunno - you tell me!

      I find that my Leo pride gets in the way a lot in this situation. I can't believe that someone who wants me will risk not talking to me for weeks instead of pursuing. I can't possibly understand how he can want me while simultaneously ignoring me. It just makes me feel taken for granted and used. It makes me wonder if this is his scorpio moon being weird or if he's just a prick. I'm more inclined to think it's just who he is based on what I know of him on a personal level already.

      I guess I should clarify a bit about our relationship. When we first started getting "involved" he asked, "You don't want a relationship, right?" It was said in such a way that I said, "NO," immediately. It was pretty much the truth at that point because I hadn't really gotten to know him well at all yet. He responded with, "Good, me neither." That was about 3-ish months ago and I've actually developed feelings for him. But I don't want to outright tell him that, and by the looks of it, I've made the right decision in keeping quiet!

      Another thing to clarify - I don't think I've been clingy or needy at all. At the most, I only contact him like... couple times a week? And not to talk and annoy him, just to see what's up and if he wants do anything. If he says he's busy, I leave it at that and back off. I never try to draw more out of him that he's giving me. I mean... I really FEEL like I'm dealing with such volatile and unstable energy that I've been quite careful.

      And as for having separate lives, we definitely do. We went to high school together and were not friends or anything. We randomly reconnected, but we go to separate colleges and have totally different friends, scenes, etc.

      I would LOVE more of your advice LeeLee!! Your boyfriend does sound very similar. Hehe!
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      • MIKI
        MIKI
        offline 22

        Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

        Wed, May 14, 2008 - 2:48 AM
        After getting all the coldness from my scorpio moon friend, I always find some warmth here in this tribe.

        Wolfie said, "He so rarely initiates things that when he does, I ALWAYS make myself available to him. I find that when I say I'm busy or whatnot, he often has a volatile reaction and distances himself from me a bit more "
        this is exactly how I feel about my friend. Is it a typical scorio-cancer moon interaction??

        Maybe cancer moons just exude this needy air, even when we do nothing and say nothing. Maybe this needy air is so strong that it can be smelled from 50 miles away by a scorpio moon..........
        Maybe our one word or one look would make this needy impression so deeply on others that it would take 2 weeks to digest it. lol.
        Ok, I am just trying to amuse myself because this guy just raged on me and told me not to contact him any more.
        Now I am thinking if I should go online or not to go online. If I hide, he would think I am taking him too personally; if I　get online, he would probably think I am waiting for him online (needy). "rolling eyes" Maybe he doesn't care at all......

        Oh, i have heart taurus venus don't give in to you readily. And you have to give them enough time...really a lot of time. He has lots of earthy elements in his chart; the key must lie in the moon and pluto conjunct in scorpio.
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      • Magneta
        Magneta
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        Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

        Wed, May 14, 2008 - 11:28 PM
        WOLFIE

        Wow, yet another post about a Scorpio Moon male that sounds exactly like my long term experience with one.

        They are complex and contradictory creatures. Sounds like you are doing the right thing. For me I found it hard to balance out my needs without being needy and being myself but in a measured way..

        It would be hard being a Leo as you would feel used, there were times when I felt my Scorpio Moon friend was doing similar i.e using me, perhaps not neccesarily the case, but it felt like it at the time,they do find it hard to "appreciate" in a true sense i think with the moon being in fall, its all about desire and control and more control and they can be quite critical and negative, sometimes this remains hidden.

        I found that it took me a long time to understand my experience with the Scorpio Moon, they have a deep contradiction within themselves and can be cruel about their emotions with themselves and others.,

        It seems to be different with female Scorpio moons as with the moon being a feminine sign, women with that sign dont seem to be in the severity of it to the extreme that some men seem to be, I have known several Scorp Moon males which is where i have seen the destructiveness of it. Not to say that are all at that level, but it depends on the evolution of the individual soul.
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      • LeeLee
        LeeLee
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        Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

        Thu, May 15, 2008 - 7:19 AM
        I feel like "You don't want a relationship right?" Is definately as it sounds - he wanted you to agree with his sentiment. I think a Taurus/Scorpio is very direct. If he wanted more he'd tell you.

        I am not a big "read in between the lines" person...so either way, you are safer to take it at face value. If he "desires" more, he won't be able to hide it.

        You have to be able to out wait him.

        He can go 2 weeks? You can go TWO MONTHES. Trust me....

        and btw, why don't you just simply sit him down and ask him about what he wants.....?

        Get your speech ready...be prepared to say - "Well, I guess we shouldn't do this anymore because I want more. " and walk.

        It just occured to me as Im typing, cancer moons are so indirect....they are truly like the crabs - they walk sideways and never directly forward......
        :-)

        If he likes you, he's not going anywhere. I promise. They just love their independance.

        Its good that you have a friendship to fall back on. Makes things less akward.
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    • Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Wed, May 14, 2008 - 7:46 AM
      "And don't make excuses for bad behavior. If someone is being disrespectful toward you - you take care of YOU and YOU alone. Let them deal with their own shit. lol
      Thats if you are not in a commited relationship."

      Even in a committed relationship, a line has to drawn; a limit beyond which "committed" will disappear.

      Know a lady who was engaged - been together for circa two years. Her husband to be has a sit-down with her, says he has doubts. Has a legal pad with two columns - reasons why to get married, reasons not.. Reasons not were far longer, and contains an entry, which was verbalized as, "I don't know if I really love you or not; let's wait a while." She was devastated, but she dropped the hammer - "We are over". Within 24hrs, everything of hers in his apartment was back in hers, and vice versa.

      When I heard this tale from her best friend, she and I had been dating for about one month. Her behavior gave me no clue she had just been through a breakup, and I have a very sensitive Scorpio Moon. My interest and appreciation of her increased by leaps and bounds.

      Inner strength and integrity are qualities much appreciated by Scorpio Moons.
      For a lasting, and fufilling relationship they are valuable, if not required.
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      • LeeLee
        LeeLee
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        Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

        Thu, May 15, 2008 - 4:01 PM
        I agree Edward...essentially that was what I meant - I didn't mean if you are commited, take his shit...I meant esp if you are not in a relationship - don't take his shit....

        My boyfriend and I have had our moments where behavior had to be modified. That was what I referring to.
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  • Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

    Wed, May 14, 2008 - 6:18 PM
    If he shows you that he loves you, he would feel he loses the game

    ****Nope, he is afraid of rejection*******************


    The source of it is my need to protect myself.

    ***********He is doing the same exact thing****************



    Wolfie - You are keeping too much of your true self in "check" as you put it. What? you're going to, suppress your emotions, needs, wants and desires until you are in an iron clad relationship and then live in misery for the rest of your life -or- suddenly unleash all of it on him making him realize that you are not the girl you portrayed yourself to be?

    I want to see the ugly upfront, don't let me fall in love with you only to pull a sybil three months down the road.

    The only way to find out if you can trust someone, is to trust them.
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    • MIKI
      MIKI
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      Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Wed, May 14, 2008 - 6:55 PM
      Edward,

      I really need that determination and assertiveness. sometimes I sway between my emotion and rational judgement for a long time.
      But the strength you talked about above, I am not sure how to express it. I have never reacted to his brutal attacks and cold treatment because I wanted to show him that I wouldn't take his emotional fit personally. I tried to show him that his words and coldness had no effects on me and I can still be happy when he is not. If I leave him, wouldn't he think I am too weak to take his shit??

      Sava is right, it is not cool to keep too much of our true self in check.......Sometimes I really don't see too much of myself when i am too worried about someone.
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    • Wolfie
      Wolfie
      offline 1

      Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

      Wed, May 14, 2008 - 7:23 PM
      Thanks Savannah, I agree with the rejection part.

      I think I feel a little differently about the keeping myself in "check" part. I guess it's because I have seen myself in relationships before and know how I behave. I am very emotional, but like a crab, I keep my "soft parts" safely behind a hard exterior. I am very decisive about who I open up to! I'm not necessarily saying I yearn to let loose the flood gates of emotion with him, (because I'm probably just as emotionally reserved as him), but I am saying that I'd like to know if it's okay for me to start to. I know I'm ready to do it, but I don't know if he is.

      So I might sound like I'm in denial, but I don't think a "sybil" will explode onto the scene in a few months. I'm not trying to hide anything from him, (as I never lie or misrepresent myself to him), I'm simply trying to figure out the right pace. And moreso, I'm interested in finding out what his behaviour means! The feedback I'm getting in this thread is helping me in a lot of ways - mostly because I've become more understanding and accepting of how he operates. I've never gone to these lengths to understand another person in my life!

      Thanks again for your input! I'd love to hear more if you have any thoughts on what I've just said!

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      • Re: Scorpio Moon Confusing the HELL out of Me!

        Wed, May 14, 2008 - 7:49 PM
        I am very emotional, but like a crab, I keep my "soft parts" safely behind a hard exterior.
        ************
        Fair enough, I did not interpret your original post this way, now I understand what you initially meant

        When he said "you don't want a relationship, right?" What he really meant is "I want a relationship, but you probably have no interest in me and will reject me like all the others, so I am asking you like this so that I can protect myself" I know stupid, dumb but it is what it is.

        THEN you answered no (not beating you up here, I have answered the same way for so long and then one day I reversed the positions and put myself in his shoes and realized that instead of saying the truth "YES! OH MY GOD, YES!" I was giving him reason not to pursue a relationship. Once I stopped protecting myself, I was amazed to see us develop a real relationship)

        The way I look at it now, when I did not answer honestly about what I wanted, I got hurt because he felt I was not interested and therefore wrote me off, so why not say how I feel (within reason, of course, damn walls) and what I want. If I am rejected and hurt that way, well then lying about my feelings was just going to end up with me being hurt as well. Trust me (wink - wink) next time he brings something up about relationships, answer in the positive and see what happens.

        "but I am saying that I'd like to know if it's okay for me to start to"

        The only way to know, is to start.

        I think I recently posted here about people who take my shit and the two who don't. (Take note MIKI) Don't take my shit, go back at me with it, call me out when I am all petulant and PURPOSELY pushing your buttons trying to elicit some sort of reaction from you. On the other hand, know when my shit is warranted, let me get away with it and give me some comfort.

        *SIGH*
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